Of course we had to spew our opinions on Urban Meyer. We don’t care if you’re tired of the whole thing. We have an opinion, a radio show, and a blog. Almost ESPN, right?
Ahem…
Also, Big Mike calls MTV’s Jersey Shore “incredibly wonderful” and reveals he fist-pumps his way through every episode. TMI.
NCAA:
T-Love’s picks, sent last week, along with the results so far…
University of Oklahoma vs. Standford University (+9): T-Love took Stanford and the points. Stanford beat the spread, T-Love is right again.
University of West Virginia vs. Florida State University (+2.5): T-Love takes the Mountaineers and gives up the points. But, Bobby’s Boys come up big in his final game and send him out a winner.
THE Ohio State University vs. University of Oregon (-3.5): T-Love takes Oregon just because he can never bring himself to take OSU. OSU wins.
University of Cincinnati vs. University of Florida (-11.5): T-Love takes the Gators and gives up the point, and Tim Tebow has his best game ever. Big Mike agreed in a rare late-season NCAA pick.
University of South Carolina vs. University of Connecticut (+4): T-Love takes the Cock(s). UConn wins.
Boise State University vs. Texas Christian University (O/U 54.5): T-Love takes the over.
University of Texas vs. University of Alabama (-3.5): T-Love decides to earn his wings and ride the Tide, gives up the points. Big Mike takes Texas and the points.
NFL:
New York Giants vs. Minnesota Viking (-9): Big Mike takes the Giants and the points in his indecisive pick of the week.
San Francisco 49ers vs. St. Louis Rams (+7): Big Mike takes the 49ers and gives up the points.
Atlanta Falcons vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-2.5): Big Mike takes the streaking Bucs and gives up the points.
Big Mike fist-pumps to these chicks
No show this week, but T-Love sent some picks through the box-like thingy he normally only uses to watch porn:
NFL:
Seattle Seahawks vs. Green Bay Packers (-14): T-Love likes the Packers and gives up the points.
Kansas City Chiefs vs. Cincinatti Bengals (-13): T-Love likes the Bengals and gives up the points.
Buffalo Bills vs. Atlanta Falcons (-9): T-Love takes the Bills and the points.
Baltimore Ravens vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (-3): T-Love takes the Ravens and the points.
Denver Broncos vs. Philadelphia Eagles (-7): T-Love likes the Eagles and gives up the points.
New York Jets vs. Indianapolis Colts (-3.5): T-Love takes the Colts and gives up the points.
And in the NCAA games to be played between now and Wednesday’s show:
University of Wisconsin vs. University of Miami (-3.5): T-Love takes the ‘Canes and gives up the points.
University of Kentucky vs. Clemson University (-6.5): T-Love takes the Tigers of Clemson and gives up the points.
University of Nebraska vs. University of Arizona (-1): T-Love takes the ‘Huskers and the points.
Big Mike went 4-for-6 last week. Stats for the season are going to be compiled in the next week or two. If they show what I think they’re gonna show, you m-f-ers are gonna have to start paying for this stuff!
Big Mike’s Jackass of the Week: Tyrone Hartsfield, sentenced to life in prison this week. Hartsfield is the guy that shot Richard Collier, former lineman for the Jacksonville Jaguars, paralyzing him for life.
T-Love’s Jackass of the Week was some chick who put a picture on Facebook that appeared to have been taken topless, but she revealed to him that she was wearing a tank top in the photo.
So, same thing, really.
We also got treated to Big Mike taking a leak on the air. Who said this ain’t quality programming?
The guys gave their thoughts on current events in the NFL as on Thursday evening, including:
- Chris Henry.
- Bruce Allen going to the Redskins and their prediction that Mike Shanahan would be the next Redskins coach. Saw that hit the wires the next morning.
- Mike Holmgren going to the Cleveland Browns, and how the Cleveland fans have no concept of logic and reality when it comes to football.
- They giggled about Mark Ingram crying and thanking his teachers. Who does he think he is, Tim Tebow?
- A home run slugger in the Japanese Baseball League. These guys are sports Renassaince men.
NFL Picks:
Miami Dolphins vs. Tennessee Titans (-3): Big Mike takes Miami and the points. T-Love takes the Titans. Big Mike likes the Dolphins being 75% against the spread for the last month.
New England Patriots vs. Buffalo Bills (+7): Big Mike takes the Patriots and gives up the points. T-Love agrees.
San Francisco 49ers vs. Philidelphia Eagles (-8.5): T-Love takes the Eagles and gives up the points. Big Mike takes the 49ers and the 8.5 points.
Chicago Bears vs. Baltimore Ravens (-11): In the Ray-Ray vs. Va-Jay-Jay game of the week, Big Mike takes the Bears and the points just because it’s a ton of points. T-Love takes the Bears and more importantly, the points, too.
Cincinnati Bengals vs. San Diego Chargers (-6.5): T-Love takes the Chargers to win by 6.5. Big Mike takes the Bengals and the points based on the emotional state he thinks the Bengals are in, and how he thinks they will rally to deliver a beat-down on ANYONE this week.
Oakland Raiders vs. Denver Broncos (-14): Big Mike takes the Raiders. T-Love takes Denver and gives up the points.
Fricking Tide Fans. You don’t hear from them all year, then they want to call and text when they finally beat our Gators. Lame. Big Mike’s household counted 72 text messages from Tide fans. Y’all need to remember what Coach Bryant said: Act like you’ve been there before.
As for Tiger Woods, the best commentary takes place after the 30:00 mark, when we were no longer streaming. It can be heard in the archives, though.
A sample? Ok…
“… it wasn’t like she was going to be a model someday – she was a Sizzler waitress and LOOKED LIKE a Sizzler waitress…”
“… let’s not act like she’s Princess Di… she might be more special if she didn’t have a fucking twin…”
Big Mike doing some of his finest hatin’ there, folks. Check it out.
NFL Picks
Denver Broncos vs. Indianapolis Colts (-7): Big Mike takes the Colts and gives up the points, and T-Love agrees.
Cincinnati Bengals vs. Minnesota Vikings (-6.5): Big Mike takes the Vikings and gives up the points. T-Love likes Cincinnati and had a couple books where he could get 7 pts.
New York Jets vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+3): Big Mike takes the Bucs and the points. T-Love pointed out how many times Big Mike has been burned by the Bucs. He took the Jets and gave up the points. This discussion was priceless! Check it out around the 11:00 mark.
Green Bay Packers vs. Chicago Bears (+3): T-Love takes the Packers and gives up the points. Big Mike agrees.
Seattle Seahawks vs. Houston Texans (-6.5): Big Mike likes Seattle and takes the points. Houston is on a 4-game losing streak. T-Love takes Houston and gives up the points.
San Diego Chargers vs. Dallas Cowboys (-3): Big Mike jumps on the the Chargers and the points, and T-Love joins him.
St. Louis Rams vs. Tennessee Titans (-13): T-Love takes the Titans to bounce back and win by 2 touchdowns. Then had second thoughts when he learned Vince Young left practice with a bum knee. In the end, he stuck with the pick.
Arizona Cardinals vs. San Francisco 49ers (+3.5): T-Love takes the Cardinals and gives up the points.
T-Love emailed his picks because he was late to the show. I’ll get the rest of the show notes up shortly, as soon as I finish my preparations for the SEC Championship game!
West Va in a pick em
Cinci +2
UCONN -7.5
Georgia Tech -1
Update:
Tiger jokes abounded! Tiger ain’t no Derek Jeter, that’s for sure…
But, Mike’s Jackass of the Week is: The United States Secret Service. Agents have guns for a reason, and political correctness be damned, use ‘em. They need to hire Mark Mangino. He can coach ‘em up on general asshole-ry.
Be sure to check out Big Mike’s opinion on the Bobby Bowden “retirement” from the perspective of a Gator Fan. Multiple F-Bombs dropped.
We also had a family member call. First time in 2 years a family member called. How did that happen with a family as big as ours? Anyway, he was offended that Mike said football shouldn’t be played north of the Mason-Dixon line. Also, Joe gave us the low-down on the unanimous decision by the Hofstra administration to shut down the football program.
On to the picks:
Alabama vs. Florida (-5): Big Mike looked at the teams and thinks it’s the same game as last year. He takes Florida and gives up the points, in addition to taking the over (41). T-Love hates the line and didn’t want to pick it, but was forced to and takes the Tide to beat the spread, but not win.
NFL
Detroit Lions vs. Cincinnati Bengals (-13): Big Mike takes Detroit. The Bengals will win, but Detroit beats the spread and Mike likes the under (42).
New Orleans Saints vs. Washington Redskins (+9.5): Big Mike and T-Love both take the Saints and give up the points.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. Carolina Panthers (-6): Big Mike takes the Bucs and the points and the under (40). T-Love takes the Bucs and the points.
Denver Broncos vs. Kansas City Chiefs (+5): T-Love likes Denver and gives up the points.
Minnesota Vikings vs. Arizona Panthers (+3): Both guys liked Minnesota and gave up the points.
Dallas Cowboys vs. New York Giants (+1.5): T-Love like the Giants and the points.
No time for a proper dose of nonsensical, irrelevant, and unfunny humor attempts – straight to the picks (but listen the show, cuz it was funny as usual, including callers wanting to discuss BYU basketball (WTF?) and the Ohio State – Michigan game)!
NFL:
San Diego Chargers vs. Denver Broncos (+3): The line went away right before the show Thursday due to Simms being named starting QB. If you can get it, take it, and Big Mike and T-Love agreed.
Cleveland Browns vs. Detroit Lions (-3): Big Mike takes Detroit and gives up the points. It sounded like T-Love did as well.
Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Kansas City Chiefs (+10): Big Mike takes Pittsburgh and gives up the points.
New Orleans Saints vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+11.5): Big Mike takes the Bucs to beat the spread. Likes Josh Freeman and Antonio Bryant coming back. T-Love takes the Over (51).
Cincinnati Bengals vs. Oakland Raiders (-9): Big Mike takes the Bengals and gives up the points. T-Love agreed.
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Chicago Bears (-3): Big takes the Eagles and gives up the points.
Washington Redskins vs. Dallas Cowboys (-10.5): T-Love takes the Redskins and the points.
NCAA:
Ohio State vs. Michigan (+12.5): T-Love takes Michigan in the Big House plus the 12.5 points in the Meaningless Bowl.
Purdue vs. Indiana (+3): T-Love takes Purdue and gives up the points.
TCU vs. Wyoming (+30.5): T-Love takes TCU and gives up the points.
Air Force vs. BYU (+10): T-Love says BYU wins by 2 TDs.
Well, we didn’t get 30 second into the show before the words “junk” and “masturbate” were used. We also discovered at the minute mark the domain name Big Mike can’t believe he didn’t of first.
And you thought we were obsessed with just football.
Big Mike had his first losing week last week, going 4 for 9. Not bad after 9 weeks into the season. Bet none of you folks have done much better. He also said he’s going to stay away from the college picks this week because he’s in a slump.
Dear Readers, this is how you tell the difference between winners and losers: Losers place bets because they need the action. Winners know they win because of Game Selection. Successful poker players look for games and players where they have an edge over the majority of the table. Successful sports bettors pick the games where they have an informed opinion that gives them an edge. Recognizing when you no longer possess an edge and stepping away is a sign of maturity.
Try to remember that, you degenerate gambling addicts.
Also, Big Mike’s (Cliff Clavin) Jackass of the Week: Kevin Michael Crocilla, USPS, delivering mail drunk, blows a .26 when stopped by the police. Jackass.
Then the Hamburglar called in and we discussed the likelihood of Hot Dog calling in. I won. We should have put money on it.
Bastards made me listen to a couple minutes of high school football. Grumble, mumble, grumble.
Throughout the show various discussions covered Coach Jon Gruden, Josh Dumeil, Fergie, and Padma Lakshmi. The breadth and width of this show sometimes… Big Mike also admitted to spending an inordinate amount of time around youth sports. Frankly, Big Mike spends more time at youth sports complexes than a Catholic priest spends with altar boys.
NCAA Picks
Colorado State vs. UNLV (-2>: Hamburglar offered an opinion on the game between these two 3-6 powerhouses, picking CSU to win straight up. T-Love went with CSU and the points.
South Carolina vs. Arkansas (-7): T-Love takes South Carolina and the points.
BYU vs. Wyoming (+14): T-Love takes Wyoming and the points.
LSU vs. Alabama (-8): T-Love takes LSU and the points.
Ohio State vs. Penn State (-3.5): T-Love takes Penn State and gives up the points.
Florida State vs. Clemson (-8): T-Love takes Clemson and gives up the points.
NFL Picks
Baltimore vs. cincinnati (+3): T-Love took the over (43.5 pts). Big takes the Ravens and gives up the points.
Green Bay vs. Tampa Bay (+9.5): T-Love takes Packers and gives up the points. Big Mike agrees.
Carolina vs. New Orleans (-13): T-Love takes the Saints and gives up the points. Big went the other way, taking the Panthers and the points.
Dallas vs. Philadelphia (-3): T-Love takes the Eagles and gives up the points. Big Mike takes the Cowboys and the points.
Kansas City vs. Jacksonville (-6.5): Big Mike takes the Jaguars and gives up the points.
Houston vs. Indianapolis (-9): Big Mike takes the Texans and the points.
Washington vs. Atlanta (-10): Big Mike takes the Falcons and gives up the points.
Arizona vs. Chicago (-3): Big Mike takes the Cardinals and the points.
Miami vs. New England (-10.5): Big Mike takes the Dolphins and the points, in a shocker to me.
Detroit vs. Seattle (-10): Big Mike takes the Lions and the points.
Tennessee vs. San Francisco (-4): Big Mike takes the 49ers and gives up the points.
San Diego vs. NY Giants (-5): Big Mike takes the Chargers and the points.
Pittsburgh vs. Denver (+3): T-Love takes the Steelers and gives up the points. Big Mikes takes the Broncos and the points.
T-Love was a no-show again. Something about saving lives. Geez, where’s the priorities?
Big Mike’s Jackass of the Week: Joel Wahl from Lauderhill, FL, for selling a monster rubberband ball that took him 6 years to make. Seriously, 6 years?
Not sure I agree. But whatever.
Also, Big Mike thinks Larry Johnson needs to grow up and use big-boy’s bad words. “Fag” is so 16-year-old. If he’d just called everyone “cocksucker”, he’d have a Reebok commercial instead of a 2-week suspension.
NFL Picks
Atlanta Falcons vs. New Orleans Saints (-10): Big Mike takes the Saints and gives up the points. NO is 6-0 against the spread and he’ll ride them until they buck him off.
Denver Broncos vs. Baltimore Ravens (-3.5): Big Mike thinks the Ravens are giving up points because they’re at home and takes Denver and the points.
Cleveland Browns vs. chicago Bears (-13): Brady Quinn was benched so Cleveland doesn’t have to pay the escalators, and because he was Phil Savage’s pick instead of Mangina’s. But, Big Mike is taking the points and Cleveland. Cleveland won’t win, but Chicago doesn’t have the offense to beat the spread.
Miami Dolphins vs. New York Jets (-3): Big Mike takes Miami and the points.
Oakland Raiders vs. San Diego Chargers (-16.5): The Chargers are the most underachieving organization in the NFL. Big Mike takes Oakland the points. Not saying Oakland wins, but the Chargers aren’t going to show up for this one and won’t beat the spread.
Minnesota Vikings vs. Green Bay Packers (-3): Favre will come up big in an emotional game, so Big Mike takes the Vikings and the points.
I wanted to discuss the Jacksonville – Tennessee game with the Titans being the favorite without a win this season. Not a game Big Mike looked at becuase of the Vince Young factor. But it was interesting to hear the thought process Big Mike goes through in picking games.
NCAA Picks
West Virgina vs. South Florida (+3): Big Mike goes with his tried and true picking method to take the USF Bulls and the points. (Game played Friday night: USF 30, WV 19)
North Carolina vs. Virginia Tech (-14): Big Mike went with VT to cover. (Game played Thursday night: NC 20, VT 17)
Georgia vs. Florida (-15): Big Mike takes the Bulldogs and the points. Florida doesn’t cover.
Tempting fate, we went out on a limb and pointed out some solid performances the last few weeks, and how we post our picks online and how you can go back and verify our picks in the show archives anytime you want, whereas the talk show weenies do not. Expect us to go 0-11 this week.
First things first, Big Mike’s Jackass of the Week: Big Brother Winner Adam Jasinski, made a solid investment with his $500K winnings by using it as seed money for his Oxycodone distribution business. Arrest made. Butt-secks on its way. Well done, sir.
Also, this week he has the Hero of the Week award: Dennis Leroy Anderson, convicted of DUI for driving his motorized Lazy-Boy and crashing it. Cheers, sir.
NCAA Picks:
Georgia Tech vs. Virginia: Big Mike takes the over of 47.5.T-Love stays away from the pick, but likes it.
Florida vs. Mississippi State (+22.5): Big Mike take Mississippi State and the points because UF is 2-5 against the spread. T-Love… stay with me on this one, because T-Love is going with a teaser: Take Florida down to -16.5, and under 55. The other side of this teaser is…
Auburn vs. LSU (-7.5): Take LSU down to -1.5 and under 58 points instead of 52.
Minnesota vs. Ohio State (-16): Big Mike takes Ohio State and gives up the points. T-Love likes Minnesota and the points, refuses to bet on OSU.
USF vs. Pittsburgh (-6.5): Big Mike takes USF and the points. Not a believer in the Wann-stache.
Arkansas vs. Mississippi (-6.5): Big Mike takes Arkansas and the points. T-Love agrees.
Colorado vs. Kansas State (-4): Big Mike takes Colorado and the points. T-Love agrees.
Clemson vs. Miami (-4.5): Big Mike takes Miami and gives up the points, and thinks it will be a good game.
Tennessee vs. Alabama (-15.5): Big Mike takes Tennessee and the points, thinks Monte Kiffin will keep it closer than that. T-Love agrees. No way Tennessee wins, but it will be inside 2 touchdowns.
Boise State vs. Hawaii (+25): Big Mike takes Hawaii and the points.
Florida State vs. North Carolina (-1.5): T-Love didn’t realize this was a Thursday night game and took NC giving up the points.
Maryland vs. Duke (-4): T-Love takes Duke and gives up the points.
Connecticut vs. West Virginia (-7.5): T-Love likes Connecticut plus the 7.5.
Boston College vs. Notre Dame (-7.5): T-Love take ND and gives up the points.
NFL Picks:
Green Bay Packers vs. Cleveland Browns (+8): Big Mike takes the Packers and gives up the points.
New England Patriots vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (+14.5): Playing in London, Big Mike takes the Patriots and gives up the points.
New Orleans Saints vs. Miami Dolphins (+6): Big Mike takes the Saints and gives up the points, likes NO going 5-0 against the spread so far this season. T-Love agrees.
Atlanta vs. Dallas (-4): Big Mike’s Lock of the Week, taking Atlanta and the 4 points. T-Love agreed.
Philadelphia vs. Washington (+7): Big Mike takes the Eagles to cover. T-Love agrees.
San Francisco vs. Houston (-3): T-Love likes the 49ers and takes the points.
Minnesota vs. Pittsburgh (-5.5): T-Love takes the Vikings and the points.
Indianapolis Colts. vs. St. Louis Rams (+13.5): T-Love takes the Colts and gives up the points.
San Diego Chargers vs. Kansas City Chiefs (+4.5): T-Love takes the Chargers and gives up the points.
Big Mike went 6 for 8 last week, including the lingerie game. Red-hot, baby, red-hot. He passed along the greatest mash-up in sports history in honor of the continued excellence:
Big Mike alerted us to the possibility of the St. Louis Rams getting football’s equivalent of the tiger slam – 0-16 over the course of two seasons. Can Steve Spagnola make a sandwich out of the spam he’s been giving? Remains to be seen.
He also predicted Steve Smith will have a big week against the Bucs defense. Yeah, folks, the Bucs are that bad. Play Smith on your fantasy teams.
Then we went back to high school football. @#$%^^^&!!!!!!!!!! What the hell? I’ll spare you the recap and go on to the college games.
NCAA Picks:
Georgia vs. Vanderbilt: T-Love takes the under (46)
Wyoming vs. Air Force (-10.5): T-Love takes Wyoming and the points.
USC vs. Notre Dame (+10): T-love takes the Irish and the points.
Arkansas vs. Florida: T-Love takes the under (57.5). Big Mike agrees.
Then we had a musical tribute to A-ha, in honor of their break-up last week.
T-Love also revealed he had the opportunity to view a professional DVD porn movie that had a former co-worker in a female role. He revealed no details, but it should be revealing to Applebee’s human resources department that our first guess among T-Love’s former jobs was that it was a waitress in one of their restaurants. We were wrong, but given the jobs T-Love has had (folks, he’s even sold sub-prime mortgages!) Applebee’s senior management should probably be worried about the impression their wait staff leaves on the male public.
Just saying.
Back to the picks, here’s the NFL:
Kansas City Chiefs vs. Washington Redskins (-6.5): T-Love and Big Mike both took the Chiefs and the points.
Houston Texans vs. Cincinnati Bengals (-5): T-Love takes Houston and the points, while Big Mike takes the Bengals and gives up the points.
Baltimore Ravens vs. Minnesota Vikings (-2.5): T-Love and Big Mike take the Vikings and give up the points. But, you heard it here first, yours truly will take the Ravens and predict 2 INTs outta Favre.
New York Giants vs. New Orleans (-3): T-Love takes the Giants and the points; Big Mike takes the Saints and gives up the points.
Philadelphia Eagles vs. Oakland Raiders (+14): T-Love and Big Mike both take the Eagles and give up 2 TDs.
Big Mike also took the discussion of a blackout in Oaklad to introduce to introduce his “Dumbass of the Week” award, with the first recipient being Louisiana justine of the peace Keith Bardwell,for refusing to issue a marriage license to an interracial couple.
Chicago Bears vs. Atlanta Falcons (-3): T-Love thinks Atlanta is that good and takes the Falcons and gives up the points; Big Mike agrees.
Denver Broncos vs. San Diego Chargers (-3.5): T-Love takes the Broncos and gives up the points. Big Mike says take the Broncos until someone beats them.
If you listen to the after-show, you’ll hear that Big Mike’s boy had a knee injury in a football game earlier in the evening. Wish him luck and a speedy recovery, y’all.